just dont understand

i just dont understand why some people think they are better then and other people for that matter. we are all the same. no one person is better then anyone else. no one person is perfect. i know i am not perfect and i dont try to be perfect. i do try to be a good person, a good daughter, a good sister, a good aunt, a good wife, and a good friend. i listen to my family or friends when they need to vent about anything no matter what it is. and i try my best not to judge them. yes i will emit that i may have had my moments where that the judging comes up but i always stop and think of what i am doing and i stop judging. and i am sorry if i have hurt anyone feelings. i do not mean to. you maybe sitting there wondering why i am writing this and i will tell you. have been made to feel like i am worthless, that i am not a good wife and that some of my online friends doesnt really care to get to know me in person or is a true friend. i have invited some to hang out either at a resturant or at my and mike's home but they never show up or let me know if they are coming or not. but they can met up with mutual friends of ours. i have been judge by some people because i dont have a driver licenses. you can say you know how feel about having a fear of driving but you dont know what it is like to have panic attacks. feeling your heart racing and like it is about to jump out of your body. you dont know how feels to have these panic attacks either sitting behind the wheel or in the passager seat when the driver has to slam on the brakes to keep from hitting some stupid person who isnt driving right. you will never know how it feels until you experince it yourself and i hope you never have to go though something like that. i have been made to feel like i am not a good ( and let me tell you this that mike has never made me feel that way. he has always made feel loved and that i am a good wife. ) by the simple fact that i really dont like wearing sorten kinds of clothes to function me and mike has been invited to. (yes i do have some nice clothes in my closet ) i think that i should be the person that i am and not be someone i am not.

if you can not be my friend and like me for me then there is no reason for us to be friends. i am who i am and if you dont like it then get to stepping out of my life because i dont need you or your judging or drama in my life.

sept all ready

can you believe that it is sept all ready, i cant. it still seems like it should be july but it isnt. things has been busy for us. we ae pretty much settled but we still like a few things to do here and there and we should have them done by christmas. mike took command on sept.1. i am so proud of him. i know he will be good at taken charge and watching over the soldiers . i also know he will teach them alot. of course i am doing okay. just trying to get over my allergies. i hope i can be a good commander's wife but i feel like that i am not going to be. i really dont want to ask for rides to go to some of the functions i would need to go to. yes i know what you all are thinking and i dont want to hear. you are thinking that i need to get my licenses. dont you think i know this all ready. i have been telling myself this for a very long time and i dont need to hear it from anybody else. and i do plan on getting them. i just ask for prayers that i can pass the test adn i dont have anymore panic attacks behind the wheel. okay to talk alittle about the change of command ceremony ( i wish i had pictures to share but mike didnt get no one to take pictures for us like i thought he was or i would have taken some. ) oh how i wish they had had the ceremony indoors because it was so hot. i was going to wear a dress but i got to feeling so uncomfortable in the dress and also started feeling like i was about to show my butt and i didnt want to do that lol. good thing me and mike had went the weekend before the ceremony and bought me some slacks and good thing we had enough time on the day of the ceremony to go buy me a nice shirt to wear with my slacks. i think i looked pretty good mike seemed to think so and no one didnt say anything about what i was wearing. i still need a few more outfits and maybe a couple of like cocktail dresses and i think i will have enough of very nice clothes to wear to some of the functions. the next couple of monthes will be very busy for mike. ( i just hope we will have time to start our christmas shopping and the money to) money is alittle tight for us right now. but we will get by. we got by before and we can get by this time. well that is it for now but i will try to get back on later.