it is getting to be really hard

it is getting to be really hard watching friend after friend having babies. some has had more then pregnancy though out these 7 years that mike and i have been trying to have baby. it hurts. i am not saying that i am not happy for my friends but it is just hard. because i want to be pregnant and be a mommy to. i am very happy for my friends. i know some have had problems with getting pregnant but they still get pregnant though. i know in some ways they know how i feel. but in someways they dont. because it hasnt been 7 years of trying for them like it has for mike and i. yes i know theses deployments are not helping with us getting pregnant. and i know some people probably thinks i shouldnt count those long long long months of being apart as part of our trying to get pregnant but i do. it is just so hard. i can hear people already. oh it will happen for you dont give up. you go 7 years of trying to get pregnant and see how you feel about it. i can hear people say it will happen when you are ready. umm hello mike and i are ready to be parents. we have always been ready to be parents. in truth who is really ready to be parents. i know some people make this is mean of me saying this but i just wish it was mike and i that was having a baby.

has made some people mad

has made some people mad. well as far as i know just one person but they will get over it. i just got tired of seeing someone go down the wrong path. and treating others the way this person was. i know this person needs to grow up. everyone else that we know has tried to talk to this person and they are just not listening. so i thought i give it a try and because i was tired of seeing this person go down the wrong and the way they was treating people. this person is suppose to be adult now but they sure dont act like it. they are not doing nothing with their life. they are trying to put blame on others at time and that is not right. i just wanted to share this with you all so you will know do not be scared to say something to someone you feel that needs to grow up or you feel is lost and dont know which way to go or who they are. because they may get mad but they will get over it. sometimes you maybe one of the lucky ones and that person wont get mad but agree with you and do something about it. and you may wand up like me and make people mad but in the long run they will get over it. because you know something i have this feeling that the only reason why they are getting mad is because they know deep down that i maybe right but they are not ready to grow up. even though it is time for them to.

i know i probably just didnt make any sense sorry about that. i am trying to learn how to word things so that they will.

so bored so i thought i would update

so i am sitting here bored so i thought i would do alittle update. there really isnt to much going on right now. just been doing alittle reading and trying to feel better. for just about this whole month my sinuses has been acting up. i had to go to the doctor and get some meds for it. right i am feeling a whole lot better then what i was. and i am hoping that it continues to stay that way. i had to celebrate my and mike's anniversary alone. no one wanted to help me pass that day without being by myself. but i didnt get to video chat with mike on that. so that helped. i didnt get to go to applebee's and eat that day like mike and i has always done on our anniversary and yes it kind of sucked. 4th of july was a good day for me i guess. i just wish that mike had been home with me. i still had a good day. i am hoping that this summer will hurry and get over with because i am so tired of the heat. it is really hot here lately. well that is pretty much all that there is going on here lately. i hope you all are doing good.

just want to say

i just want to say that i love all my nieces and nephews. there is nothing i would not do for them. i know that there is some people who thinks i dont but i love all my nieces and nephews. i wish i had the money to carry them to movies more like i was hoping i would have this summer but i do not. i think these people who thinks that i dont love my nieces and nephews needs to stop and think that if i didnt love them would i try to go to the birthday parties when i can. would i go out and buy them birthday gifts or christmas gifts. and even if i do not have the money to buy them birthday or christmas gifts i still buy them but i love them. yes i know i do not spend as much time with them like i probably should but that doesnt mean that i do not love them. if no one believes me just ask mike and he will tell you that i love them. and yes i do tell my nieces and nephews that i love them. maybe i dont do it every single day but i do tell them.

so here it is i love you dylan, i love you kristen, i love you justin, i love you jason, i love you jessica, i love you c.j. and i love you tater bug.