we have a new nephew now.

we have a new nephew now. so now we are great aunt and uncle and we love it. our niece had her baby last night at about 6:45 or 6:50 one (at least around sometime around then lol) our littlest nephew weighed 6lbs and 10oz. i dont know how long he is because no one told me that. it sucks to be away from family for something like this. it will be around easter before we will get to meet this little guy and i can tell you this it sucks big time. i do have to tell family that while we are around do not try to take him out of my arms because you know what you will get to see him more and get to hold him more then what mike and i will and we would like to have sometime with him. so i think it is only fair that you give us that time with him instead of taken him out of our arms when we are holding him. and yes my family does do this when there is a new baby in the family.  easter can not get here fast enough for us lol. my sister inlaw sent me a picture of my niece and her son and he is just perfect. he has the cutest little cheeks that i just want to pinch (you know how those old grandmothers or great aunts does (yep i will be doing that lol okay maybe not lol) ) and kiss him. it will still be like 5 weeks before we will get to see him. and it sucks. maybe they will go by fast.

okay i guess i can do alittle update on mike and i now. we are doing good. mike has been busy with work the last few days and he may have to work tomorrow but at least he is home and we can go to sleep next to each other at night. but other then all that we are doing good. my anixety level has finally came down a whole lot. so we are doing good. we are also asking for prayers right now there is a couple of things that we hope will happen within the next month or so and we need prayers. no we are not going to go into details of what those are right now. maybe in a month or so we will say something but not right now. we just feel like we say what they are then it will jinx us and we dont want that. so please just pray that this things that we want to happen happens. God knows what they are so just pray for us please. and thank you if you do pray for us or if you have been praying for us.

happy late valentine's day

okay i was going to write a valentine's blog yesterday but never got a round to it so here i am writing it a day late. i hope you all had a good valentine's day. i know i had one. yes i like celebrating valentine's day. yes mike and i show each other every day how much we love each other and i think it is a good idea to just have one day to make a friend or family member feel special. yes i know that we just dont need that day to make some one feel special (but that is usually when you find good deals on things lol) i did a few little things for mike yesterday. i baked a cake and brownies, i cut out some hearts and wrote little love saying on them and taped them to just about all the doors we use the most. i got him lots of candy and some picture frames and a wooden sign and this cavanas picture of us together that he can hang anywhere that he wanted to. mike got me some flowers (even though i got them a day early lol) a tshirt, a prepaid card with a 100 dollars on it. dont know what i will use it on lol. and he also got me some candy to. and he also got me a really pretty necklace in a shape of a heart.  but what i loved the most about yesterday was spending it with mike. i love spending time with him. it is so lonely when he is not home.

that was are valentine's day. how was yours. did you make some one feel special. did you admire from a far.

not doing to good and taken a break from things

right now i have decided to take a break from decluttering. i may pick back up on it next week or the next though. but right now i just got concentrate on myself at the moment. somethings went down yesterday with some family members and it just has me, well the best way to say it is has me feel broken. like my family is broken (i would like to say mike and i are good. this was nothing about him and i. just some other family members). i seen a family member hurting and responded to let them know that i knew how they felt because i have been there. then i guess you can basically i got attacked by another family member for saying that i knew how it felt. but it put that feeling to the side because it wasnt worth it to me. but i wanted these two family members to just put hurt feelings a side and see that they just need to let it go but there is one that just doesnt want to let it go. they want to keep holding on and on. until now our family is broken. i tried to keep it from breaking as i know that some others in my family has tried to but nothing we have did or said has worked. i guess this just needs to play out i guess. i do feel like that this family member that isnt letting go needs to help because i feel like there is something wrong with them. they are now telling a bunch lies about some more family members. (no i am not going to go into details about what all is going on. just know that it is a bunch of senseless trash that just needs to be put out on the side of the road for the garbage truck to pick up.) this family member that is not letting go they need to think is all this senseless trash worth losing your family over. no it isnt. you are suppose to be a grown adult act like one. and stop putting the blame on the other person or other people. because the choices you have made is all on you. theses are your choices and you need to realize that no one else is putting the all the blame on you.  look inside your self and you will see that you are wrong and not right.  and you need to stop trying to make it out that you are the only person that is right about anything because you are not. you need to find someone and get some help. because you really need. you also need to start praying to god to help you. i know i am praying to him to help you because you really need. you also need to stop making out like you are the only one that bad things has happened to in the past (actually it is time to move on from the past. yes some of the things that happened in the past was bad and you shouldnt have went though all that. but i can tell you this some of the things that happened to you was your own choice you choose to go down that path. you could have went down the other path that was put in front of you but you didnt. and live for the now and for the future. your past isnt your future it is your past. ) and you need to stop making other feel like you are the only that is going thru struggles. everyone is struggling with something. it may not be the same thing as you but they are. right now i am struggling with things but i am not going to let what struggles get me down. i am not going to be down anymore. i am going to stand as tall as my short legs will let me (LOL) and i am not going to let things keep me down. i have seen how strong i really am and i know god is help me thru this. i hope and pray that you (my family member and anyone else that is struggling with something) will turn to god and let him help you thru what ever it is you are going thru. please dont let our family be torn apart. it is time you really look and see what others who sees a point of view from looking in and know that you need help to put things away and not let this family be torn apart. we love you and we always will. until you can do this i will have to love you from a far because my health can not take this anymore. i stayed sick yesterday because of my anxiety but up higher then has ever been. so i can not do this anymore and i will not do it anymore. just remember that we love you and we always will. and we will be there when you are ready to leave the past in the past and live for the now and the future. dont let your past control you or consume you because if you do you are going to be dragged down and you may never get back up again and we do not want that.

Decluttering day 3 - 5 (bedroom)

Sorry I haven't updated on the decluttering in the pass few days just been trying to rest up. On Wednesday was day 3. I just worked around the area where we have one of those plastic shelves. ( I also washed clothes that day so I didn't do to much on the bedroom). Thursday was day 4 and I worked on the second dresser. Let me tell you that was hard work. Today was day five and I finished the bedroom today. All I had to do today was dust back over things and vacuum. I am so glad that I got it finished. Next week I am either going to start on the closets or the office one haven't decided on which one I want to do.

Here are the pictures. The first is day 3 second one is day 4 and the last is today.

Decluttering day 2 ( bedroom)

Today was a little easier and didnt take to long really. I took out all the clothes in the dresser and refolded them and now they all fit better in the dresser. Then I did some dusting. Tomorrow is going to busy with doing some more decluttering.

Here is a picture of today's cleaning.

Decluttering ( bedroom) day 1

Today was day one of decluttering the bedroom and I really do think it may take me all week to get it done. I worked on the area around the bed today. I wish I could have moved the bed and vacuum up all the dust up under the bed but that just wasn't possible. So I guess that will have to wait. It was a lot of hard work but I got it done. Tomorrow I will work on around one of the dressers and work on getting everything to fit inside the dresser.

Here is a picture of today.

infertility sucks

i have realized that i hadnt really wrote about infertility in a while. so i thought i would.

yes it sucks and that title is good for this post. i have been seeing where there is more and more people coming out with their infertility issues and i think all of us going thru infertility needs to come out and share our stories and hopefully maybe then we will get more help with buying the fertility treatments. do you know that most insurance will not pay for the fertility treatments at all. there are some that will pay for  some of the fertility treatments but not all them. and from what i am hearing it doesnt pay for iui's or ivf's. well i know my insurance will not pay for those and if i was going to have one of those it would not pay for the fertility drugs that i need.  it will pay for the fertility drugs with we are doing timed intercourse (as we are not going to tell anyone when we going to do this i will tell you to much on that right now lol ( got to keep you in suspense lol )). the way i see it is why should we have to suffer with trying to get pregnant when we really want to be parents and we know that we would make wonderful parents.  why is it that some of theses insurance companies will pay for other things (which i am not saying that they shouldnt pay for other things that you need help with your health) i am just saying why can not they dont help people that is having a hard time with becoming a parent. because most people that is going struggling with infertility  goes into debit just to have their family complete. and what are the people who doesnt own their home to borrow against (yes this also goes for adoption to) or cant get a personal loan for the amount of money that they need are suppose to do. yes they can apply for a grant and do fundraisers but that doesnt mean that they will get the grant or raise enough money from the fundraisers to be about to afford to pay for everything. so why cant the insurance companies start to help people struggling with infertility.

and thing that makes infertility sucks is that there maybe people out who has never had to struggle with getting pregnant or even staying pregnant. and they want to make comments  like it will happen when it is time for you to be parents. it will happen if you relax. it will happen if you just go on to adoption. those comments will and does hurt someone going thru this struggle and it also hurts to see family and friends get pregnant without trying. yes it hurts but after a little time you can be happy for them but it still hurts. i think the ones that actually know what you are going thru and can understand how you feel is the ones going thru their own infertility struggle. not saying that your family or friends that has never had this problem dont mean well because i am sure they do and they just dont know what to say to you so they just come up with something to say and it is usually the wrong thing to say but they try. what they really just need to do is let you vent and be a shoulder to cry on. that is all we need from theses family and friends. we dont need words we just need a hug and a shoulder to cry on and someone to vent to sometimes.

and one more thing that makes infertility suck for me (possibly to others ) is that mike is in the military and we have to put a side doing the fertility treatments a side for when he has a training he has to do for the military (those trainings can last up to a month or longer) or have to stop fertility treatments because he is getting deployed, things like that. and also if you are a military family and your spouse gets deployed you have that fear of what if they never come back and you dont have a little piece of them with you. (yes i have that fear. well truthfully i have that fear even if mike isnt deployed).

feb already

January sure did go by fast. that is okay with me though as mike has been really busy. in a couple of weeks things should be calming down for him. at least i hope so but we do know that in a couple of weeks we should be able to spend more time together though. one thing people needs to know that military men and women do have times when they get really busy and do not have time for their families so we always try to make the best of it and spend as much time together as we can when we can. that is why mike and i always try to plan a vacation so that way we can have us time without being interrupted. and i really do think that if you are a military family or if you have a job that keeps you really busy that you take last a four day vacation just to spend with your family.  family is important.

okay jan was a okay month for us. of course mike has been really busy and i have been busy to. in jan i started the decluttering the house. of course you have seen my posts about all that. i also meet up with some friends for lunch in jan. that went pretty good. it was good to get out of house. that is pretty much all i did for jan. 

February is going to be a good month for us to. of course i got the rest of the house to declutter. (i will start on our bedroom next week). valentine's day is this month and i hope that mike likes everything i got him. i had a hard time deciding on what to get him. he has everything. well one thing we both want is a baby but right now i cant give him that but maybe soon. ( and no we are not telling anyone if or when we do the fertility treatments right now.)  i have our valentines day date planned out. i am not going to share it yet maybe on the 15th i will write a blog about our valentine's day date.

well that is probably pretty much all we will be doing this month but if something interesting happens i will be sure to share it with you. until then i hope you all are doing good.