Changes are coming

I was looking on Pinterest for whys to help beat pcos butt and I have decided that I am going to change the way I eat and what I eat and how much I eat. Going to try to eat more fruits and veggies and also going to try to go gluten free. I have heard good things about gluten free ( I tried it once but couldn't never find any gluten free foods but now I am seeing more foods haha). I am almost going to try to at least work out 30 minutes 3 to 4 times a day. I really hope that I can do all this and keep it up because I know I really need to do this for my health and for our future kids. I will try to write every day about the things I am doing and will take some before and after photos so we can compare. Wish me luck and keep praying for me to achieve this goal and us get pregnant.

first doctor's appointment.

i just realized that i never wrote about our first doctor's appointment. we had went to the doctor on tuesday march 26, 2013 and this is what all that went on

today i had a doctors appointment to have a ultrasound done to check to see if i had any follicles developing. i had a few and one was really big but it wasnt at the size it needs to be to be able to get the hcg shot ( aka trigger shot) today. the doctor did give me another shot of bravelle and i go back on thursday to have another ultrasound done to see if that one follicle is at the right size. i didnt get to see the pictures from the ultrasound but mike was watching and he said that one follicle was really big. that they all didnt look like little dots anymore. he said to him that they looked like dots before but todays that it didnt.
i feel like we are getting so close to having our baby or babies (i know there is still a chance that i could wand up with more then one). i just hope that all the add stress that has been added on doesnt effect my body. i have been trying to stay away from all the stress that is going on but it seems to follow me around. i am trying my hardest not to let it get to me but there is some that is. i think people just dont realize that stress can effect people. and infertility is stressful into itself and then you add other stress it just makes it that much worse on a person. i really do hope that this is it for us. i feel like it is but i have had that feeling in the past and was wrong so i am hoping and praying that i am not wrong now.

second doctor's appointment

today we had our second doctor’s appointment for another ultrasound on my ovaries to see what the follicles are doing. well we didnt get good news on them today. on tuesday we had one really good size follicle but today it was basically gone. or had sunk in size one. it sucks big time that we did not get good news today. i was hoping and praying that the doctor would have said well you get to do the trigger shot (for those who needs a reminder that is the hcg shot that helps release a egg from your ovaries). but nope i guess i should have just listen to what i was feeling this morning. i woke up feeling (and was feeling this some last night) that things wasnt going to go good. i want to be a mommy so much and i do not know (well i do know why) why my body doesnt want to work like it is suppose to. is really all just because of the pcos and my thyroid problem or is there something else going on that has not been found. my doctor is referring me to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE for short) maybe with the help from a RE will work. in the mean time we are looking into adoption. well we have been looking into it for a while but now i think we need to start find the way to pay for it and hopefully either by oct we will be able to get it all going. i will be so glad to hear someone call me mommy. i have nieces and nephews but being called aunt isnt the same as being called mommy. dont get me wrong i love every single one of my nieces and nephews but i want to be a mommy and i want to hear someone call mike a daddy. i know we will be great parents. our future kids already has a room waiting for them. a room with books and toys, and clothes and plus a bed. we still like a dresser but we are hoping when we go to some yardsales in couple of weeks we will be able to find one to put in there. so yeah we are so ready to be parents. has been for nearly 9 years now.
if anyone that knows us in person that would be willing to write reference letters for us for adoption please let us know. i think from the research we have done so far we will need some reference letters.

The joys of infertility treatments

Right now I am experiencing the joys of the infertility treatments. We went today to find me a good pair of running shoes and I got to the point where I just wanted to sit and cry because I couldn't find a pair that I loved and wasn't over $100. I finally found me a pair but I have never felt like crying over a pair of shoes before. Plus people started to get on my nerves and there was a few times I just wanted to come unglue on them. Now we are back home and this is where I am going to stay for the rest of the day. Only one highlight of my day was the yummy brownie from Applebee's. it was really good and talking about it has me wanting another one lol.

combine this journal to another

i decided to start a blog on wordpress yesterday and today i decided just to go ahead and combine them together. so if you want to follow me on wordpress you can or you can continue to follow here. i am going to try my hardest to keep this updated to.

renewing our vows

we are going to be renewing our wedding vowels on our 10th wedding anniversary which that is like a little over a year away. and yes we have been talking about this and thinking about ideas every since like our first or second year of marriage. and the only reason we started to thinking and talking about it then is because we really didnt have the wedding we wanted. i think the only thing that we really enjoyed was the getting married part lol. i didnt get to pick out my dress myself. i am very grateful for my aunt that picked it out and mailed it to us. but it really wasnt nothing that special. didnt really make me feel like a bride. in other words i settled for a dress and when you are getting married you shouldnt settled for a dress. you should get a dress that makes you feel like a bride and that you love.  we couldnt find anywheres to get married outside so we settled for a church wedding. nothing wrong with a church wedding and we are very happy that we got married in a church (but it wasnt what we really wanted. (another thing that makes me a little happy that we got married in a church is that pretty much everyone in our family got married either outside or in a place like a community center or something like that and not a church. so i am glad we was different in that department. ) i didnt get pick my our maid of honor. my mom told me that my sister was going to be my maid of honor because who else are you going to ask. well i was thinking of asking one of my cousins to be my maid of honor or my oldest niece and that is what i said. my mom said well your oldest niece isnt old enough to be a maid of honor. and that the cousin i had in mind probably wouldnt do it or something like that. i should have stuck to my guns and picked someone else. we also didnt get to use the colors that we wanted when we first told everyone our colors they said that those colors didnt work. so we picked something else out. and everyone still didnt like those colors but we just gotten to the point that we didnt care what others thought. but we couldnt find the colors we wanted in decoration wise so we just went with colors that we could find and afford. so yep we are now going to be renewing our wedding vowels and i can not wait. we know we want it to be outside this time. we dont know the time we want to go about doing it but we know we want it out side. i plan on having two dresses and the only reason for this is that i want a ball gown. a gown that is going to make me feel like a bride and a princess at the same time (or should i say queen since i am in my 30s and we are already married lol) but mike wants to see me in a dress that is more fitted. so we compromise. that i will get the ball gown for the ceremony part and the fitted dress for the reception part. i am pretty sure i have the ceremony dress all picked out, i just got to pick out the fitted dress. i am thinking about going to some bridal salons. and look at some fitted dresses and go from there. now we got to figure out what kind of flowers we want and other decorations. or like a theme one. (which i kind of think we are going to go with the country theme. as we both love the country and will live out in the country again one day.)  i am thinking about something blue. that color is drawing to me. and we got to figure out wedding music to. and if we want to have a wedding party. if we decide on a wedding party it will be the people we really want to be in the wedding party and they will have to pay for their own clothing lol.  i want to try to keep the budget as low as possible but i want to have a really nice wedding with all our family and friends there (this part of our wedding makes me a little sad because we invited 100 people to our wedding and only like 10 people, not include their kids. maybe we did count their kids to, showed up to our wedding. so that makes me really sad.) we had even asked one of my uncles to sing in the wedding and they said no. that kind of hurt because i would have loved it and it would have made our wedding special. i have this feeling that this uncle we asked went to another of my cousin's wedding who was getting married the day after we did. which when we set the date for our wedding we didnt know this. if we had we probably would have picked another date. but anyways, we will not be asking family to sing in our wedding at all. we will just pick out some music and leave it up to a cd player or something like that.

if you have any ideas that you would like to share with us please do so.

unknown number / and the reason why i am taken a break from things

i am so tired of getting calls or text messages from people i do not know.  i am getting it because someone is given it out with out asking me first or it is because people sending me those dang forwards. i made a post about it all on facebook asking them not to give it out. i think that if it continues i will be changing my phone number. dont get me wrong if someone wants to use me as a job reference. i just want them to let me know that they are. it just seems like i am constantly getting texts from people i do not know and getting phone calls from people i do not know. like i think it was saturday or sunday morning like at 7 something in the morning i received a phone call from someone i do not know. good thing i was already awake. i hope that everyone respects my wishes and stops doing this if not i will be changing my phone number and only a select few will get that phone number. i have this feeling that only some will respect my wishes. i also have this feeling that some is going to have a rude comment about it but i dont care and those comments will be deleted.


okay i just thought i would explain a little why i am taken a break from social media. some of you may already know the reason or has a feeling for the reason. well actually there is a couple of reason but the main one is that it just seemed like everytime i was logging on to facebook, twitter, or other social media some one was announcing their pregnancy. if you know me or has been keeping up with my blog you know how long we have been trying for. yes it after nearly 9 years it has gotten really hard to hear about someone getting pregnant. and some of them hasnt even being trying at all. or some that has only been trying for like a week or a month and they are saying guess what i am pregnant. and i am tired of hearing people telling me to cheer up or get over it because my time will come. people that tells me that i just want to slap them upside their heads and ask them how would they feel if someone was telling you that. so yeah that is one of the (the main reason why) why i am taken a break from social media.

another reason is that i am so tired of people complaining about something. it is either about money or their spouse or their kids. i am also tired of seeing people only thank one person for helping them when there was more then one person that has helped them out. it isnt right to do that.

i hope this doesnt make any of my friends or family mad but all of this is the truth. and that is why i am taken a break because my nerves can not handle it right now. i just want to say sorry if i offend anyone by this i wasnt intending to do.

our journey into fertility treatments pt2 (and with pics)

part two of our journey into fertility treatments.

if you just got done reading part one you know how our first round went now on to the second round and with pictures.

on feb 10, 2013 i started a new cycle and since that day was on a sunday i had to call the doctor on the day after to let them know i started my new cycle and to set up my first appointment (yes for this one i had two doctor visits.) so on day one of my cycle i decided i would take a picture of all our meds (well it is just me that is taken the meds but mike likes to be include to lol) and i also decided to make a chart of our journey. here is the first two pictures i took.

this first picture is of all the meds and plus a pregnancy test that i went ahead and picked up. the second picture is of the chart that i didnt have finished at that time. (i still need to take a picture of the finished product. )

this time around i started taken the clomid on days 3 to 7 of my cycle. here a couple pictures of the clomid.                                                                                                                                                

then on days 9 and 11 of my cycle i did the repronex shot. yep this time around i did two rounds of the repronex. here are some pictures of the shots theirself and some of mike mixing the shot together and like one or two of him given me the shot. this time we had to take it in the stomach like a inch or two below the belly button and off to the side a little. the first shot was given to me on the left side and the second was given to me on the right side. and some pictures of us going to the doctor office and some pictures of me waiting in the exam room.

here are the pictures. 

the last picture there is of the ultrasound machine. mike was wanting to take a picture of it to show everyone. and yes it went in a spot that one man wants to see go inside his wife lol. i went to the doctor on days 11 and 16 of my cycle. needless to say that last doctor visit we was told that we would have to do another round but the lining of my uterus looked good and that we are almost there but not quite yet. and nope we havent done a new cycle yet but we are hoping to be able to do one either in april to june one. somewhere in that time frame. but if it doesnt happen it wont happen for however long it is. as mike is getting out of the army in sept so we are having to put a time limit on this journey as we dont know what it is going to be like for us come sept. we dont know if he will have another job by then or what. but we are hoping and praying that he will have a job by then. so please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. please pray that we get pregnant soon and that mike finds a job before sept. 

thank you for taken the time our of your day and reading about our journey and for praying for us.

our journey into the fertility treatments(pt1)

we just thought we would go ahead and write about our journey though the fertility treatment process so far. yes we have some pictures but they are from the second round of fertility treatments we did.  our first round was back in dec and i didnt even think of taken photos for it. i think the only reason why i thought of it the second round was because some of my friends going thru infertility got to talking about it and that is when i decided to do the photos. i will try not to flood you all with all the photos we took but i will post some. i hope that our journey will show others going thru infertility will see that it is alright to talk about it. that just about everyone now days is having some kind of trouble with getting pregnant.

okay now on to talk about the first round. like i said the first round was in dec. i started my cycle dec 15, 2012 ( if you dont know already that is the first day of a woman's period. yes i know you may not want to hear that if you are a guy lol) i call the doctor like the day before my first day of my cycle and they called in clomid and repronex for me. it took like from friday to monday or tuesday one to get my meds. walmart's kept saying that they didnt recieve anything for me. well the clomid anyways. the repronex had to come from another pharmacy and then it was a pharmacy that doesnt take our insurance but i wasnt going to fight with getting it sent to a different pharmacy at that time because if i had we would have had to wait until the next cycle and we didnt want to do that. so we paid full price for the repronex. which was like about 300 all totaled together. on day four of my cycle i started the clomid i took it from days 4 to 8 of my cycle and then on day 10 mike helped me do the repronex shot. that round had to go in my hip. (yes i think he enjoyed given me that shot lol). i had some side effects from both the clomid and repronex. the hot flashes and headaches. and i had a small upset stomach but i think that was mostly from the hot flashes as when i get too hot i start to get sick. i was also emotional to. then like on day 14 of my cycle which was like dec 28 we went in for a ultrasound on my uterus and ovaries. that ultrasound showed that the lining of my uterus was good and that the pills and shot was helping but it wasnt where they needed to be for me to get the trigger shot. (hcg) if you need to know what that is it is a shot that helps release the egg from the ovaries. so we made plans to do another round on a another cycle but as mike was going to be gone in January we had to wait until February.

that was round one of the fertility treatments.

beth

edited to tell you that i decided to make two different blogs about it. so that way you are not reading a really long blog post lol. 

i am done with making wishes.

i am so tired of wishing for things to happen for us that we would love to have had happen or happen to us. what is wishing getting us nothing. so i am done with making wishes. i am just going to live my life to best that i can (and i know mike feels the sameway as me) am i saying i am given up on our dream of becoming parents. no i am not but i am done with wishing for it. i am done wishing for it on the first star i see at night. i am doing wishing for it when blowing out birthday candles, i am doing wishing for it at 11:11 because wishing is not getting us anywheres. the pass few weeks we have been though alot. now in about six months things will be changing for us. mike is getting out of the army in six months. we are hoping that he will be able to get back into the national guard. hopefully we will be able to hear something on that some time soon. and also hopefully he will be able to find a job between now and sept. because if he doesnt i dont know what we will do. but i am not wishing that he will find a job also. i am just feeling like wishing it is going to jinx us. i also just feel like there is someone or someones out that that is wishing for the bad things to happen to us because it just seem like that it is one thing after another. if we had known that the things that has happened this week was going to happen we would have never went on that weekend trip. hopefully this new adventure of going back to the national guard will be a good one for us. i just want good things to start happening for us to. i want good things to happen for our family. i am just tired of feel like a complete failure. so i will say it again i am done with making wishes.

weekend pt 2 (with pics)

here are some of the pictures i took at the parks we went to. i hope you enjoy them. we had a great day at the some of the parks we went to in cedar park, tx. we went to the veteran's memorial park and a park called bushy creek park (i hope i am remembering the spelling correctly for this park lol). there was a lot of different parks in this town but we only went to two as i was getting tired and i was still tired from not getting much sleep saturday night and being woken up at about 430 or 530 on sunday morning and not being able to get back to sleep. maybe when it gets a little warm and not to hot we can go back down that way and enjoy some more parks.

oh and i would like to take the time to say please do not steal my photos. i am the one that takes the photos and i have decided to share them with you so i am asking you please do not steal them and say that they are your own.

Our weekend (with pictures)

This weekend we had a pretty good time. We went on that train ride. It was pretty fun. I didn't get many photos of the train but I did get some from my view as we traveled on. We also ate lunch at this feed store on Saturday. They had really good BBQ. ( I think it use to be a feed store but then again they may do both lol ). Then we walked around some waiting for the time the train left to go back to the station. I found this old camera at a antique store. The tag said 1920 but I don't think it was 1920 ( I will post a photo of it and if anyone can tell me about please do so. ) I think it may have been made either in the 1930s or 1940s before World War II. It got it for 50 something so i am hoping that I didn't spend to much on it lol. I think I will still get my money's worth out of it when we are able to start that photography studio. It will be part of my decorations for the studio. Okay getting back to the trip. We watched a old west gunfight. That was pretty funny lol. Then we got back on the train and headed back to the station. Then on Sunday we got up and went to some parks. I will post some pictures from the park tomorrow but right now I am going to post some from Saturday.

Here we go

First picture is of the camera. Please if you have any info on it let me know. Now theses last few are of the train ride and the gunfight.

can you believe it is march already

can you believe it is march already, it doesnt seem like it should be. it seems like just yesterday it was turning a new year but nope yesterday was feb. 28 and today is march 1st. i just can not believe how fast this year is going. last month was a good month for us. not the best as we was hoping something would happen but it didnt. but what made it a good month was our great nephew being born. we still havent gotten to see him yet as we have to travel like 12 to 14 hours just to see family. so it will be a couple more weeks before we will get to see meet him. yep in just a couple of weeks we will be going back home to see family and meet our nephew. i can not wait. it has been july since we have seen family. we just havent had the money to go visit them and for this trip we are having to save money for it. but it should be a good trip.

this month we dont have a whole lot going on but getting ready for the trip to go see family. we are also trying to find some fun things to do around here. like tomorrow we are going on this train ride. if you want to read about the train ride here is the website http://www.austinsteamtrain.org/rides.php it sounds like it will be a fun trip. never been on a train myself.

i also got to finish taken my photos for the photo project for my online class and i am also going to be taken photos for a photo contest i am entering. i know i may not win but for so long i have been so scared to enter in one when everyone was telling me i should. but i finally decided that i need to do this for myself. i need to get over the fear of no one but my family thinking i am good photographer. yep that is right i am calling myself a photographer. no i am not calling myself a professional because i am not up there yet to be called that but i am a photographer and i know i can take good pictures and there has been times they have been some great photos to. so i think it is time i start calling myself a photographer even if i am armature photographer. or a beginner or how ever you want to call it. i am going to take some photos this weekend i cant promise that they will be prefect but i am going to try my best.

mike doesnt have a whole lot going on but working and spending time with me lol. we both are trying to get the office organized again. and hopefully it will stay that way. then after the office it will be the garage.

well that is the update for now. i will try to update you on our train ride and with some pictures as soon as i can.

we hope you all are doing good.