second doctor's appointment

today we had our second doctor’s appointment for another ultrasound on my ovaries to see what the follicles are doing. well we didnt get good news on them today. on tuesday we had one really good size follicle but today it was basically gone. or had sunk in size one. it sucks big time that we did not get good news today. i was hoping and praying that the doctor would have said well you get to do the trigger shot (for those who needs a reminder that is the hcg shot that helps release a egg from your ovaries). but nope i guess i should have just listen to what i was feeling this morning. i woke up feeling (and was feeling this some last night) that things wasnt going to go good. i want to be a mommy so much and i do not know (well i do know why) why my body doesnt want to work like it is suppose to. is really all just because of the pcos and my thyroid problem or is there something else going on that has not been found. my doctor is referring me to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE for short) maybe with the help from a RE will work. in the mean time we are looking into adoption. well we have been looking into it for a while but now i think we need to start find the way to pay for it and hopefully either by oct we will be able to get it all going. i will be so glad to hear someone call me mommy. i have nieces and nephews but being called aunt isnt the same as being called mommy. dont get me wrong i love every single one of my nieces and nephews but i want to be a mommy and i want to hear someone call mike a daddy. i know we will be great parents. our future kids already has a room waiting for them. a room with books and toys, and clothes and plus a bed. we still like a dresser but we are hoping when we go to some yardsales in couple of weeks we will be able to find one to put in there. so yeah we are so ready to be parents. has been for nearly 9 years now.
if anyone that knows us in person that would be willing to write reference letters for us for adoption please let us know. i think from the research we have done so far we will need some reference letters.